Long distance relationship | What you need to know

Long distance relationship

Being in a long distance relationship is anything but easy. It takes a lot of patience, trust and communication to truly make it work. I am currently in a long distance relationship with my boyfriend who moved upstate for a job opportunity. Fortunately (or unfortunately depending on how you look at it) we’ve been around the long distance relationship (LDR, as I like to call it) block before; considering the first year of our relationship I was away finishing up school. 

Today, a lot of people hear the term “long distance” and automatically freak out, run away, or flat out just say no – ultimately calling their relationship off. While being in an LDR does take a lot of work, it should not be something that holds couples back. However, it happens all the time. 

Throughout college, I’ve dated guys who often deemed our relationship as unworthy due to distance. Of course there were plenty of other factors that went into why those relationships did not work (stories for another day), but at the end of the day distance was one factor. 

As cliche as this may sound, I truly believe that distance is never something that should make or break a relationship. Is it hard? Of course, but if you and your SO are on the same wave length and truly do care for each other, you can and will make it work! 

If you are currently in a long distance relationship or may be heading in that direction soon, I’ve put together some tips on how you can make it work. While these have helped me and worked for my relationship, it is important to figure out what will work for yours. Relationships are unique and different so be sure to keep an open dialogue with your partner. This brings me to my first bit of advice… 

Long distance relationship

Communication is key. 

While communication is essential to the success of any relationship, it is even more so for a long distance one. Being able to talk about your fears, worries, and hopes openly is important for growth. Make sure to set time aside to communicate and talk with your SO. While you may not be able to talk every day, don’t forget to voice your feelings. Distance makes a relationship harder so not communicating properly can certainly put a strain on it. 

Trust your partner. 

This is another one that is essential for any relationship, but even more so with distance. Let’s be honest – if you are the type of person who is constantly jealous or worrying about what your partner is up to, or who they are spending time with – you need to take a step back and reflect on why you lack that trust in your relationship. I’m sure there is a valid reason for feeling the way you do, but really dig deep into what is going on there.

With long distance relationships you’re not going to know what your partner is up to, who your partner is with or what they are doing 24/7. And you probably won’t in any relationship. So establish that trust and build on it. 

If you lack these first two tips, you are lacking the foundation for a loving relationship (sorry if this sounds harsh). So go ahead and talk it out with your partner! It will only make you stronger. 

Long distance relationship

Make plans together.

Having things to look forward to is a must for those in long distance relationships. Whether it’s a FaceTime date, phone call, trip, or even just binge watching Netflix together; set aside time for your SO and stick with it. Because you cannot see each other in person frequently having something to look forward to is so important. My boyfriend and I try to plan trips to visit each other about once a month. And in between we often FaceTime and even watch Netflix together (thanks to this Google Chrome plugin).

Leave room for space.

I know, you’re in a long distance relationship… how much more space can you need? But trust me on this. Space is still significant even for those in LDRs. Just because you can’t see each other often, doesn’t mean your or your SO’s responsibilities disappear. You may not be able to text every day because of work, or classes and that’s okay! Give each other room to get things done. Life does not stop because your relationship is long distance. Keep doing what you gotta do, and allow your partner to do the same.

If this is your first time in a long distance relationship, there are so many resources out there for you. When my boyfriend and I were first doing distance we use this site often. It is super cute and has many creative ideas that you and your partner can do while being apart! I definitely recommend you check it out.

Long distance relationship
Are you in a long distance relationship? Share your advice in the comments below!


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  • Julian Palmer

    Thanks for the tips and such a reminder!

  • Sophia Inza

    I think the communication aspect is HUGE in a long distance relationship. So many things can be misinterpreted since you’re not speaking in person often so you need to be extra honest, open and considerate!

  • I’m in a long distance relationship with my boyfriend too. He is about 3 hours away from me in the mountains, I get up there when I can and vise versa. I have a part time job but recently picked up another that has me working every weekend since I work at the 1st part time during the week. I would take days off but it is myself and 1 other person so I don’t want to leave them hanging. We both understand and we are totally ok with the situation we are in right now. Communication is a biggie for us but yes, LDR’s aren’t for everyone. My friends can’t seem to understand why I don’t find someone here – i simply tell them it is 3 hours away not 3 days.

    • Raquel Sosnovich

      Hi Leslie, thanks for your comment! You are so right, 3 hours is not 3 days so why make it out like it is? LDRs can be hard, but they are definitely manageable!

  • Thank you for a good piece from a perspective I rarely see. I haven’t ever been in a LDR, but I don’t see it being any different then living close. Your points really can cover all relationships…great read!

  • Amber Brooks

    I find it funny that people such a big pressure on people in LDR, but don’t realize that people can live in the same city and not see each other as often. The tips that you gave was perfect. It can be applied to several kinds of relationships.

  • Swati

    Loved reading this! I agree with each n every word of yours. Feelings is what matters & not the distance. So happy you found your Mr. Right 🤗

    Swati
    https://theselfieskin.wordpress.com/